“Believe in yourself.” You see it plastered all over social media, in self-help books, V-logs and seminars. We all know the power of self-belief. We all know of its importance. It has its place.
Self-doubt – also has its place. We all have moments of self-doubt. It doesn’t need to be seen as a negative experience. Sometimes, it is in these moments of self-doubt that we are led to ask ourselves some tough questions. It is through asking those tough questions we find important answers and learn to be honest with ourselves. And there is nothing wrong with that. Without being truly honest with ourselves, we cannot overcome negative patterns, and consequently stifle our own progress and growth.
I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I have been told many times over the years by family and friends that I am being too hard on myself. This may be the case some of the time, but it is certainly not the case every time. “Am I doing enough, could I be doing things differently, am I making a good decision, does this align with my values, what is the reason I am questioning myself right now.” I am always asking myself the tough questions. Whilst I believe that ‘believing in yourself’ is pivotal to success, I also don’t accept excuses from myself. I believe that you cannot fix something if you aren’t able to recognise when its broken.
I don’t believe that being strong is always just about ‘pushing through.’ I believe that we also find strength in asking ourselves those tough questions, and in being brutally honest with ourselves. This is strength, this takes a lot of courage. Sometimes we might not like the answers that we find, but in finding them we give ourselves the opportunity to do something about it, to make good choices and to realign with where we want to be.
I think it is important to learn to recognise the difference between those moments. Is this a moment of self-doubt where I am just being a little hard on myself? Or is this a moment of self-doubt because I need to be honest with myself about something. Is there a reason for feeling this way? Is there actually a more pressing question here that needs to be answered?
Having moments of self-doubt is not all bad. When we are confident knowing that we will and are able to ask ourselves the tough stuff when we need to, and confident knowing that we will be honest with ourselves, it is a hell of a lot easier to believe in yourself.
With love xx
